My Double Life

*drools*
The Boyf and I went to the cinema Sat night to see The Simpsons Movie (pretty funny) and I decided to indulge in some popcorn. It's practically diet food, just the sugar that's a beast! Well once i got started on it i was like a popcorn addict. I just couldn't stop shovelling it into my mouth. Poor Boyf only got a bit because we shared a large between us. I even treated myself to some fizzy pop - a small diet coke. It was all good, didn't feel guilty because i have been so good with my diet so far and i deserve a treat.
Yesterday we went to the cinema AGAIN. This time with friends. I seemed to go a bit crazy when we got there and grabbed a bag of peanut M&M's and popcorn for myself. Saw Transformers which i thought was ace! It didn't stop there though...........
After the film we all decided to go eat somewhere. We ended up in Pizza Hut! Uh-Oh! I LOVE pizza!! "Well fuck it", I thought, everyone else is having pizza and i'm not going to have a salad or something. So i indulged and had 4 big slices of delicious pizza *drools* Oh wow it was SOOOOOOOOOO nice!!
So today i'm a bit anxious for my weekly weigh-in tonight. I've been to the gym today where i tried my best. This week i'm going to be proper hardcore with the diet. ABSOLUTELY NO sweet or fatty treats for me. Should be well easy after the weekend.  I just hope that i haven't gained any more around my waist when i measure it later or i will be a bit gutted. Still, all diet and no treats makes me a sad girl!

My roots are gone!! Butt rape hair appointment has paid off and now i'm a lovely bright shade of blonde from root to tip again. It was a ridiculous amount of money but i guess that's the price you have to pay when you're on your 3rd salon and have finally found a guy who does a good job. So i'm feeling pretty good today. I can wear my hair any way without stressing about 2 inches of mousy brown grossness poking out at every parting.

Don't know what the plan is for today. I have no money after the hair so no shopping for me. Not that i've shopped in 3 weeks anyway. I'm so poor! Probably do the weekly trip to Sainsbury's pick up some healthy scran for the diet. How thrilling. Would quite like to go out tonight but that's SO not happening cos i need at least £25 for a decent night and i'd be lucky to find 25p today. *sigh*
That's the price you pay for not living with the 'rents in summer holidays. WELL worth it haha.
xx

My diet is going really well during the day but I'm finding it really hard to control the size of my evening meal. *sigh*
You may say it's easy - just make less! Because i eat lots of veggies, when i prepare the meal it doesn't look like a lot of food until i've cooked it all and put it onto my plate. It's then a huuuuuuuuuge pile of food. It is good food though but i must try to eat less as this huge evening meal is not part of the 6 SMALL meals a day diet that i am on. The Boyf keeps remarking on the size of my evening meals and even though i know he is trying to help i seem to get really defensive. I just feel so HUNGRY in the evening. If i eat a smaller meal my tummy keeps rumbling afterwards. It must be in my mind because i can't still be hungry after eating a balanced, well proportioned meal. I sit there afterwards craving something sweet and filling like biscuits, even though i'm not really hungry. The Boyf is amazing at giving up things (smoking, recreational drugs, sweets, alcohol etc) but i have a real problem with it. He says giving up stuff is as easy as not buying it. Well i just don't think it's that easy!! I got quite upset last night when he was telling me all this. I just can't bear being hungry at night time. Maybe it's because i'm sat with nothing more to do and so start thinking about food. I don't get hungry with my small meals in the day when i'm busy. I need a distraction in the evening. Tonight i'm going to really try to make a good sized meal and just deal with it. I think i need to eat slower. It's going to be tough. I don't want my evening meal to wreck all the good work i've been doing all day.
Wish me luck. Or any suggestions of what i can do to control my evening cravings? Maybe i need a cigarette! I haven't smoked in 15 days because i haven't been out drinking and the smoking ban stops me sitting at the bar after work smoking. Maybe that's what i'm craving and i think it's food. I don't know....

This is the 5th morning in a row where i've got up and the Boyf's flatmate is sat there stagnating in his chair. He was supposed to be away for 2 weeks on 2 little holidays but came home early from one and is setting off late for the other! I thought last night he was finally going again but he decided to go today instead. So there here i am sat sharing my morning space with him again. *sigh*
I know he pays the rent like i've mentioned before so i shouldn't complain but.... I like being just me and the Boyf!!! It's not so bad when Flatmate is at work because he leaves really early so don't have to see him until 5.30pm. 5 Mornings in a row is getting to me. I can't quite explain what it is that gets to me. I think it's just the fact that i have to speak to someone when i've just got up and he looks really gross in the morning etc. Also he goes straight to the loo and takes a shit every morning which grosses me out. The flat is too small for other people bodily movements!
I'm going to get in the shower now so that i don't have to g o in after him and wash his pubes away. I hate getting in a shower that's still warm from him - yuk!! Oh god i sound really mean and selfish. I have to moan on here though cos i can't moan to the Boyf about it really seeing as i don't pay rent and Flatmate does! Not for long, this time next year it'll be just the 2 of us thank god.

Today on Facebook an old friend from school added me. From looking at her friend list there are sooooooooooo many people from school! I finished 6th form in 2000 and a lot of people left after GCSE's in 1998 so i haven't laid eyes on many of them since then. I don't have any friends now that i went to school with but evidently other people do! AND some couples are still together now! CRAZY! Most of the girls look the same but the guys!! I have no idea who most of them are! Two have added me as friends because apparently we used to know each other. Weird. I totally don't have any memory of that. Also it may just be immature me but my photos are WAY funner than anyone else's. There's 144 pics of me in various fun (drunk) situations. Old school people have shitty pics of them and their new wife looking mildly excited in some honeymoon destination or in the peak district on hols or something. Mine involve me balancing glasses on my head, scraping kebab off my boot, dancing like a loon, covered in glo sticks and lumo paint, doing rock lunges in a club, dressed like a golfer on a bar crawl.... well you get the picture. It must be because i'm a mature student and most other people have got proper jobs and stuff. Wow i'm SO lucky. I only have one year of uni left then it'll be photos of me and the Boyf in some damp field somewhere. *sigh*

The diet and exercise is definitely working! So far I have lost an inch and a quarter from my waist (all fat) and 4 pounds. I went to the gym again yesterday with best mate. Really getting into it now. Loving the stepper machine - it's brilliant for cardio.
BM went for her first weigh-in at Slimming World yesterday and she was gutted to have only lost 1 pound! I don't understand how people lose weight on that program. It seems silly to be able to eat all the carbs that you like on one day and meat on another. Maybe I don't understand it properly. Also it seems like you can have a ridiculous amount of "syns" (bad treats). BM is eating more healthy meals but still eats treats like she used to and still doesn't fill her syns allowance for a week. Stupid!! She tells me the woman leading the group is overweight too AND she's been on the diet for 12 years!! Ridiculous!!

First thing i'm going to buy when I'm happy with my figure is a bikini! Can't wait.

Went to bed pretty early last night. Had no money to do anything fun.
So i'm up well before the Boyf today. Was looking forward to enjoying a cup of tea and blogging alone in the lounge. I get up and DUM DUM DUMMMMMMMMMM, Flatmate has come home from hols early and is playing Xbox. *sigh* He looked fresh from the shower though so I wasn't mad or anything. Just a bit disappointed that i have to share my space with someone. He's off again on Weds to some festival but until then i'm not at work either so will have 2 days of his company. *double sigh* I'll probs go to my mate's house during those days. He gets on my nerves just sitting in the chair playing Xbox all day.

I'd better go now, need to go get milk for my Special K so i'm on track with my eating plan for today. I cracked and had a fried egg and bacon sarnie yesterday so must be strict till my weigh-in tomorrow!

After I posted my annoyance with the water being off last night, I switched on the news and found out it was off all over the city! We didn't get any water here til 11pm! How crap is that! Even when it came through it had little black bits in it so i was worried about drinking it. Apparently there was a huge mysterious leak somewhere under Nottingham. It's made me appreciate clean water on tap a bit more. Wasn't happy about sitting around in gym sweat for 6 hours.

For some stupid reason the water is off in the building. I have lots of things to do that involve water. For starters i need a shower as i've just got back from the gym. i don't shower there cos it's gross and communal. YUK! Before having a shower i was going to clean the bath. Can't do that. The cat needs water in his bowl. Can't do that. Grr! I'm getting a bit pissed off.

I'm going to go check the water again now. If it's not on i'll probably scream and stamp my foot. Dammit!!

It's a week since i started the diet and so tonight i will weigh myself and measure the fat! Eek! I hope it's gone down a bit. I'm not expecting anything amazing because as i said in the first entry about the diet, i'm not overweight, i just have fat round my middle. I don't really want to lose much weight, just the fat!
I think i'm going to go to the gym today. I've dug out some gym trousers and still have my gym card in my wallet. I really should go. Need to do some aerobic exercise to help boost metabolism and burn the fat.
Last night was quite hard because i felt a bit ill and tired and really wanted something like a pizza or curry. Instead i roasted a chicken breast and made a kind of ratatouille with courgettes, onion, kidney beans, chopped toms and a tiny bit of brown rice. Yummy. Really filled me up. So i'm still on track. It's going good. I don't know if this is related but my skin has been really good this week. I haven't developed a new spot and any old spots have pretty much disappeared. Maybe it's all the fruit and veg!

Feel the Burn!!

Last night after a long conversation with me about our stinky flatmate, the Boyf decided he would talk to him about it. I had no idea he would do it this morning! I've got to say well done Boyf. He walked into the living room, switched off the Xbox which Stinky was playing on and said in a stern voice "Me and you need to have a serious chat about some stuff". I ran off to the bedroom because i'm shit with conflict and really this needed to be said by the Boyf, not me.
So after about 5 mins the Boyf comes into the bedroom. "What did you say!? I ask. Poor Boyf is a bit shaky - he really had to psyche himself up to say it and it can't have been nice.
"I told him that he's my mate and i like living with him but he needs to sort out his personal hygiene, how much he helps out around the flat and his drinking"
OUCH!
I think he did a good job because he did say to Stinky that if he disagrees with anything he is saying then to please speak up but Stinky just agreed and said everything was true and he doesn't know why he drinks so much. The Boyf said he needs to shower more and brush his teeth because it's not fair on us having to smell him!

OUCH OUCH!

It had to be said because they are actually very good friends and the Boyf didn't want to keep it all inside and end up hating Stinky. There is a bit of an atmosphere now. Stinky has gone into his room. It remains to be seen if he has a shower today. I hope he takes it all on board because deep down he is a lovely guy and if he could sort his life out it would be great not just for us living with him but for Stinky himself. I do like the guy, i just got sick of his smell, drinking and laziness.
*sigh*
I hope it all comes good.

It's day 5 of the diet and things are going swimmingley. I'm really in the swing of it now and the Boyf says i look less bloated already so that's encouraging! A pleasant surpise was food shopping today. I got chicken for my evening meals and lots of other healthy foods which i can make snacks out of. The shopping bill was only £45!! Normally when we do a weekly shop it's touching £80. Healthy food is cheap! I don't know how i didn't realise this earlier. No more microwave curries for me! I made sweet potato wedges for dinner and they were yummy. I've also re-discovered eggs which are a filling alternative to chips or bread for me. Loving scrambled egg and it's good for me too.
My only concern is that when i become super-hot and skinny i will become less tolerant of obese people. I don't have a problem with people who are a bit overweight but Beth Ditto really gets on my tits because it just isn't healthy to be her size and she seems to be saying it's ok to be obese. IT IS NOT!! Heart attacks people! Not to mention Type 2 Diabetes. I'm finding the diet really easy so far and so at the minute i don't have time for fat people who eat like horses and then winge about their size. Do something about it then! Like me

I went out last night. Feeling a bit tired today but pleased with myself that i got out of bed and did something productive with my morning. The Boyf started painting the living room last night so today i've been tidying up the aftermath.
Anyway, that's the boring part. The interesting (well, for me anyway) part was last night was my first night out since the smoking ban kicked in. Luckily for me i live above a bar so got my drinks and brought them up to the flat so i could sit out on the roof and watch the world go by and smoke! A couple of friends came over and we had a pretty cool time sat out drinking and talking. At 11ish we walked down to Rock City. I really wasn't sure how i was going to feel when i got in there and couldn't smoke. It was worse than i expected. I associate that place with being drunk and smoking and as soon as i got in there i wanted a cig! Luckily (again) the nice bouncers let me go outside and smoke on the street. Rock City was really quiet and so there was no queue to get out so i went out about 6 times!! I seriously couldn't go without. I guess if there was a huge smoking queue i wouldn't have bothered but i found it really weird. It smelt funny in there too. It just shows how weak i am to nicotene when i'm drunk. I don't smoke every day and can go for quite a while without smoking but when it comes to going out for a drink i just can't resist! I don't want to resist - i like smoking!

Ugh - stinky housemate has come home ill from work. For fucks sake, now i'm stuck with him all fucking day. He's not ill, he has a hangover!!! He does this everytime he goes out drinking then gets up for work. Fucking idiot. "ooh i'm actually ill, been sick all morning". Great. If i have to listen to him throwing up all day i'll be seriously pissed off. What a twat. I'm starting to hate him. I bet he has hangover breath. Seriously, today i'm going to tell him he stinks if he comes near me with his festering body.
I was looking forward to my day off today. I like being alone in the flat. Well fuck it i'm going to my mate's house now. AAARGHH I'M SO PISSED OFF!!!! NOB!!!!!!!!!!
For someone who constantly drinks beer, he can't handle it that well. WANKER!

I never thought this day would come but I have actually started a diet.
I've got way too much fat for my liking sat around my middle so i'm on a mission to burn it away. So i've started a diet which involves eating 6 small meals a day, 2 of which are a meal replacement powder. The MRP is mostly protein and full of vits and makes a vanilla flavoured shake. The Boyf picked it up for me from a special sports nutrition shop. By not being hungry all day and binging out on a huge dinner, i should stop storing fat and start boosting my metabolism. I'm also implementing portion control with my evening meal. I eat fairly well but heap on the carbs like there's no tomorrow! Yesterday was the first day and it went pretty well. Meals were as follows:
Breakfast - Special K and semi-skimmed milk
Mid Morning Snack - Ryvita and Houmous
Lunch - MRP shake
Afternoon snack - more Ryvita
Dinner - Chicken breast, Small amount of brown rice, Veg (courgette, baby corn, green beans, carrot, asparagus)
Evening snack - MRP shake

I was full all day instead of getting starving by dinner time. Also i normally have a huge lunch (big baguette with chicken and mayo etc and crisps and coke!).

I've given up fizzy drinks too which i guzzle all day at work.
I know that if i deprive myself of all sweet treats then i'll fall off the wagon so friday nights are treat night.
I'm confident that i can do it. I just need to keep looking at the fat that hangs over my trousers and i'll be spurred on!
I've been skinny for ages but now i've got to 25 i seem to be gaining fat quite quickly. I want to do something about it now before i get to 30 and realise that i am actually fat. It would be much harder to get rid of it then. I'm not trying to lose weight because i don't need to. It's all about the fat round my middle. Wish me luck!

The Boyf's flatmate is really starting to get on my tits. I say "The Boyf's flatmate" because i unofficially live here and if i properly lived here (which i will when i finish uni) and paid rent, the Boyf wouldn't need a flatmate. So i can't really complain but surely that is what blogging is about - saying things you think but perhaps shouldn't or can't voice in life!
Flatmate is a big beer drinker. Every evening when he gets home from work he drinks at least 4 cans of lager. He hardly ever washes (once every 10 days i'd say), so he stinks of stale beer and roll-ups. Hardly ever brushes his teeth either so you can imagine the halitosis. The Boyf and I just find it depressing that he's always sat in the chair drinking and smoking and playing on the Boyf's games consoles. Yesterday he spent all day drinking, from 11am!! When the Boyf and i came home from a random morning out bowling, we decided to do some spring cleaning. Flatmate shuffled off to his room and never offered to help. He does this a lot. As soon as we start tidying up or cleaning he disappears. Now that i've written it down it doesn't sound like a lot that he does wrong but it's just starting to grate on me quite a lot. The old flatmate was the same! Why can't Boyf find someone who likes to have a shower and occaisionally do some cleaning?? I'm sick of holding my breath when he talks to me. Boyf has told him that he smells but he just laughs it off. He even febreezed him the other day and told him to have a shower!! Flatmate knows he stinks but doesn't care, lazy bastard! I'm also sick of cleaning the kitchen after his fry-ups. That's all he eats. Honestly he's so gross. I guess the Boyf and i like each others company and having a third party sat in the corner belching and farting and talking about boobs is starting to wear thin.
Rant over now. There are a million other little things that get on my wick but would be boring to write down. I can't wait til i graduate and get a job and then i can pay my way and ditch the stinky bastard.

Right, i'd better get ready to go meet my best mate who actually washes. At least i can rant to her about him. She appreciates cleanliness too.