So earlier I wrote that I'm worried tonight one of my housemates might be wanting to stay with one of her other friends in Revolution rather than leaving at 11pm to go somewhere else with me for my birthday celebrations.
Well Facebook is adding to my suspicions! She has written on the other birthday girl's wall that she can't wait for dancing tonight. Well thanks a lot seeing as she hasn't said anything to me about tonight yet!
Maybe it's because it's the other girl's actual birthday today so it was just part of a birthday message.
I hope people don't start deciding that they are going to stay in Rev's and leave me! We have the same group of friends so could be a problem. I just don't know anymore .

I have faith that housemate VM won't skank me and so at least we'll have a fun time if the others fuck me off.
Well i'm off to the shops now to buy bin bags and toilet roll seeing as everyone else in this bloody house won't think to buy any until we're desperate.
Feeling a bit homesick and yearning for my home friends a lot right now!

My feelings about my Leeds birthday night out have been up and down ever since 2 of my housemates fell out with me about a night out I planned without inviting them straight away. I can't really put my finger on why because we have made up since then.
Last night one of them asked me what time we were going out to which i replied "early!!" as this had always been my plan. Then she said "oh - well i'ts just I can't afford to drink out all night so maybe we could stay here til late and go out about 10pm?"
This has pissed me off a bit because I want to go out at 8.30 and drink some nice cocktails til about 11 then off to a club which I know is dirt cheap. I can see her point about the expense but I can't help feeling that it's my birthday and people should do what I want to! Anyway I compromised and we are going out at 9.30 now. This is the same housemate who wouldn't bend last wednesday and come to an indie club which meant all of us stayed in. I feel like she is always the one who has the deciding vote. *sigh*

The annoying thing is I really get on with her and when we go out we have a good laugh and a dance. I just wish she would be a bit more accomodating sometimes. I have been to countless dance clubs because that is what she loves when I love rock and alternative music. Only one of my housemates has been to an alternative night with me. For two years i've been going where everyone else wants to go.

Which brings me onto my next concern about tonight.

We are going to Revolution first which is going to be dancy/pop music (which I do like sometimes!) then off to an alternative night. I have a feeling that difficult housemate will try and drag out the time in Rev so there is less time in the rock club. I want to leave Rev at 11pm so we get 3 hours in the other place. I really hope she doesn't. I also have a feeling she will stay there because it is someone else's birthday tonight and they are staying in Rev's for the evening.

Oh god i'm really nervous tonight is going to be a disaster. I wish my friends from home were coming but they are all grown-ups with jobs that they couldn't get time off from

I'm having a birthday-night-out-outfit trauma. I bought a new skirt today which when teamed with my super-cool t-shirt is too dark and makes me look like a goth. I also am not feeling the t-shirt as much as i did yesterday. I also don't know whether to wear my new fishnet stylee tights or bare legs. I'm also not convinced my shoes are as nice as i thought. In short i'm stressing!
I think the root of the problem may lie in the fact that when i tried all the possible combinations of clothes on earlier I had hardly any make-up on, scratty hair, glasses and no tan. I'm hoping that when i'm all dolled up tomorrow i'll put the clothes on and feel amazing. *crosses fingers* Otherwise i'm screwed.

I'm going out in Leeds tomorrow night as part of my birthday celebrations. It's not my birthday til Sunday but i'm a fun-loving kinda girl so decided to go out twice! This way I get to celebrate with my Leeds friends and my Nottingham friends.
Today i've been into Leeds and bought a new skirt, eyeshadow and eyeliner. I'm all set to fake tan myself later today and do my nails. I've got a load of 18 inch hair extensions which i've painstakingly sewed clips onto so they slot into my hair easily. I love making an effort for special occasions!
I just hope everyone gets into the spirit of things as i'm taking them to a rock night. No more Oceana!!

I've been toying with the idea of putting some pics of me up on here for a while. I've come to the conclusion it's way funner to remain anonymous so here are some pics of me that don't give the game away.

Pic 1: i'm the blonde curly one

Pic 2: i'm the one on the left (we clearly didn't want our photo taking that day)
Pic 3: kind of obvious really

Today I had quite a few errands to run which meant I had to walk round Headingley in a big circle. My bag kept getting heavier as I accumulated stuff and I think I must've had a pretty good workout! Now I feel a bit tired and can't be bothered to open the books that I carted all the way back from the library.
I'm starting driving lessons again on saturday and I wonder if when I finally pass my test and get a car i'll walk as much as I do now. I hope so because it's pretty much the only exercise I do at the minute! I can't actually imagine driving around on my own. I'm pretty nervous about saturday's lesson. I've had a TON of lessons about 3 years ago but I gave it up when I ran out of money and went away to uni. Towards the end I stopped enjoying it and actually started to get a bit scared of driving which is weird.
I have to learn because all the jobs i'm applying for say I need to. I actually don't want to drive ever. I have to get out this negative frame of mind about it or i'll never learn. I wish public transport was awesome then i'd just take the bus everywhere. You just cannot rely on it to get you anywhere on time ever though so no good for getting to work everyday.

I am so sick of uni life. I can't wait to finish and get a job!! I'm enjoying the work but i'm sick of leaving the Boyf and trekking back to Leeds on the train every week. I'm also getting sick of my housemates. It's been great fun since we moved in together at the start of the second year. However, the past 2 weeks have shown that we are perhaps becoming less nicey nicey to each other. I've discovered that noone will come out with me where I want to go! I'm so sick of trendy nightclubs, I want to go somewhere a bit alternative for a change. But NO!! Noone will come with me. I'm pretty sick of it all to be honest. I want to move back to Notts for good, shack up with the Boyf forever and go out with my friends who have the same tastes in nightlife as me. Also my friends here are so much more laid back and spontaneous. I guess it might be because they are all older than my housemates. I was supposed to go back to Leeds on sunday night but here i am still in notts. I'm going back tonight

Looking on the bright side of things, i've got 2 job interviews for when i graduate and I've booked my Florida holiday. Roll on the 28th August!!

It's all going wrong. I've been sat here for 10 years trying to cover this stupid spot near my nose. It's so bad i actually think i may have to stay in. I don't know why i've got such bad skin now i'm 25. It's not fucking fair. I do everything i can to look after it and nothing seems to really work. Last time i went to get my pill i asked the doctor if i could try one that would help my skin and she dismissed the idea saying she couldn't see anything wrong with it! That's because i spent about an hour putting on make up before i go there which i told her and she ended up recommending a mild acne cream. It has helped a bit but i still look disgusting. Really upset about this. I can't face Leeds city centre with all the trendy looking gorgeous people when i look like this. How fucking depressing.

I've had quite a shit week by my standards. It started on sunday night when the trains were all fucked up and it took me hours to get back to Leeds. Then Tuesday managed to upset 2 of my housemates by not inviting them out at the same time as another housemate so they said they felt left out. PN in particular was really annoyed/upset and we both ended up crying. Felt really down since then. Yesterday was shitty because PN went out with some other friends and although she did invite us all to go (well i guess she had to after tuesday's saga) she made ME feel left out and i ended up staying in. On top of all this i feel really emotional in general and miss the Boyf terribly. So today i awoke and i think i need to do something to cheer myself up.
I think we are all going out tonight and i thought i could do with some new boots to go out in. So i may go shopping for some! I've done a fair bit of uni work whilst i've been holed up depressed in my room. Perhaps i should get out there and shop.
I've reviewed my budget and i'm not doing bad at all, there is room in it for footwear.
I think it's settled then. Shop, then home to do a bit more work, then go out in hopefully a hot pair of boots. I'm feeling a tiny bit better just thinking about it.

I've recently become obsessed with perezhilton.com. It's here that there is so much gossip about Britney Spears. I'm not surprised she's gone mental, the footage of the paparazzi in her face is awful! Everywhere she goes. I have to wonder why she doesn't stay in her house for a bit. I guess it's cos she's mental. Now i feel bad because i've watched the videos and am adding to the number of people that do which gives the paps more reason to chase after her. Someone needs to sort it out. It's shocking.

I've been so busy again recently that i have neglected my poor blog.

This week sucks because all weekend i have been revising for an exam which i took this morning. Got that sinking feeling when half of the questions i hadn't revised and didn't have a clue how to answer. I ended up inventing answers in the hope i might get 1 mark. The rest of the exam went ok so i'm pretty sure i haven't failed but i really wanted to do well. All this stuff i revised to death wasn't in the damn paper.

The rest of the week sees me desperately trying to write a 5000 word literature review. It's in on friday and so far i've only written the intro. I haven't been slacking, it's just 3rd year is crazy intense with the workload. It seems never-ending.

The good news is i have a week off next week so get to spend it with my boy and my kittens. Well i'm actually supposed to be spending monday in Leeds at some stupid research project team building day where "lunch will be provided". Fuck that. I'd rather not. I bet it will involve all kinds of cringe worthy team building games. If anyone asks, i was ill and couldn't attend.

Is what i drank last night. Had a really good night. Went over to the guys' house first for drinking games then a taxi to good ole Oceana. Leeds has pretty much shut down since the uni went home last week. What about everyone at Leeds Met!!?? Only the main room was open in Oceana and it wasn't that busy really. Did some dancing around like a goon. Had most of the fun with my housemate VM. One housemate went home when she discovered there was to be no R&B room, another had a row with her boyfriend and went home. That left 3 of us. One then pulled some guy so just me and VM left to represent! We took about a million photos. Finally left at 2am. Tried to get a pizza but all our usual takeaway were shut! Like Leeds Met students don't want takeaway at 3am?? Managed to get a pizza from somewhere we've never ordered from before. It was pretty shit really. I still managed to eat 3 slices of it though.

I rang the Boyf to say i'd got home safe and VM's boyfriend started shouting and my Boyf got mad for some reason and I think he's angry with me today. He can't text or ring me because his phone's been cut off. This means i have to wait til he's done at work to call him see if he's still mad. *sigh*

I also have that damn essay to finish and submit today. My head is swimming so will be a bit of a chore to focus.

Might go back to sleep for a bit.

I keep hearing one of my housemates shagging her boyfriend. It's so awful. It's not him that makes the noise, it's her which makes me want to cut my ears off. It's all Oohs and Ahhs and disgusting loud panting. All of my other housemates have heard it too. She doesn't seem to care or realise we can all hear it. She's really loud!
The worst part of it is he is totally gross looking. The thought of him shagging anything let alone my friend makes me feel sick. BLARGH! Another thing is i've seen his cock and it's tiny like a button mushroom. She must be acting because there's no way that tiny thing would make anyone make noises like that. URGH. Oh god i wish i hadn't heard it. They know i'm in because i put music on to drown it out. Have some respect for my ears people!
I'd just like to point out that i'm not a prude and all up for anyone having a good time but not when i can hear it when i'm trying to eat my Rice Crispies! Or when i'm trying to sleep at night. Or when i'm trying to write an essay. Seriously they are like rabbits.
I miss my Boyf

I've managed to tear myself away from cosy clean flat, Boyf and kittens and i'm now back in Leeds in my student house. I got up to about 2300 words last night when i gave in. I'm going to attempt to finish it by tomorrow night. Tonight i want to get up to 3000 words then i can't start whittling away at the waffle. Phew.
I don't feel ill or tired today thank god. Although i may soon get ill because everyone on the train was sniffing and coughing and generally sounding gross. I was so paranoid about the germs flying around. *shudders*.
It's really quiet here in student land. My street is normally rammed with cars but it's looking pretty empty. Where have all the students gone? Home probably. My uni finishes a week later than Leeds Uni. *sigh*.
Wish my essay was done and i was home with the Boyf. Well no point thinking like that or i'll get all sad. Off i go now to unpack and get the books out.
xx

I'm on near as damn it 2000 words now. I'm confident only a small percentage of it is waffle which i will weed out later on in the week. I've included some salient points and my list of references is now 5 strong. I have a HUGE amount of amazing journal articles that i've found to put in and reference now. This will earn me major brownie points as my tutor bums journals and the referencing of them.
I feel i should try to get up to 3000 words tonight if i can, then when i go back to uni tomorrow i can weed out the waflle and put in some more points from the books that i've left there. Phew.
Feeling a bit better about life now that i've managed to write something.
I haven't eaten the chocolate yet, going to save it til after dinner.
Ok, hopefully when i blog later it will be to say i have reached the 3000 word mark. Wish me luck!!
x

I have just received a text message from my housemate saying that she is sick of essays and feels like she is getting nowhere.
Phew! I feel better knowing someone else is despairing about uni work. Today i've done NOTHING. I just can't face starting it. I will have to in a minute because i really want to get a good mark. It won't write itself!
I've managed to get dressed and put on a full face of makeup which has made me feel loads better. I've barely worn any all weekend which is so not like me!
I've got a chocolate bar to eat when i've written some more words.
I'm not one of these people who will leave an essay til the night before it's due in. I've been researching for this one for about 2 weeks and i started writing it last week. It's just i really want it to be quality which takes time. I find it so hard to start! *sigh*.
Ok i'm going to get my notes out and hopefully write something now. I'll report back later.
x

This weekend I have been zombified. I don't know what's going on but yesterday I didn't wake up till 2pm! Well I did wake up at 11.30am but was so so tired that I went back to sleep. On Saturday I woke up and got up at 10am. I was so tired that I laid down on the bed in all my clothes and fell asleep from 12 noon till 2.30pm! Today i woke up at 11.50am. My god.
I don't know whether this is because i went out 2 nights in a row last week. I hope not or i'm flippin rubbish. Maybe sleeping is easier than waking up and doing uni work. I might be secretly stressed. I don't feel stressed. So today I was going to go back to Leeds and work on my essay which is in on Thursday. Instead I think i'll stay in Notts and work on it here. I can't face getting ready, packing and getting on 2 trains and a bus.
I wrote 1500 words yesterday so only another 1500 to go.
I can go back to Leeds tomorrow.
Maybe i'm not well, I'd better stock up on vitamins today. I'd better not get ill for xmas! i haven't been ill in months. Dammit.

The Boyf made me get up this morning so I could do uni work whilst he took his van to the garage. God i'm so tired! I haven't done any work yet. Just been watching Friends and pottering around. I could have done with about 4 hours more sleep. I went out Thursday and Wednesday night and think it might be catching up with me today. An added factor to the tiredness is i was at work yesterday when really i wanted to be sleeping.
For some reason when i got in from clubbing on Thurs night, I couldn't sleep. When i did finally drop off i woke up at 6am and was awake for over an hour. Really weird. I don't know whether it might be to do with caffeine in coke. I did drink quite a few with bacardi in.
We didn't go to bed last night til well after 1am. So today i am zombie girl. I look awful. I guess i'd better go sort my face out, eat something, get the uni books out now. I really REALLY want to go back to bed. Maybe i'll just have a nap later. Yes i think i will........

Just enjoying my first mince pie of the season. Yum. Well i'm trying to enjoy it but the kittens are all up in my face trying to get a lick. God they are exhausting!
Have done quite a lot of uni work this afternoon. Just had a quick half hour break where i did some tidying up and joy of joys scrubbed out the kitty litter tray. It was lovely and clean but as soon as i put the new litter in, BOTH of the kitties got in it and did a big wee each side by side *sigh*.
The house is looking nice and tidy now. Lets hope it stays this way til the Boyf gets home. I've even done a load of washing today. Domestic goddess i am.
Yum that pie was well nice. Will have to buy a box for xmas but as the Boyf doesn't like them it will be up to me to eat them all and then i'll probably feel sick. Blargh.
x

Our new kittens are driving me insane today. They are constantly climbing in the christmas tree and scratching at the presents underneath it. According to the kitten book i'm supposed to say "NO" in a stern voice and that is enough. Well i can tell you that it doesn't work. I've had to move the gifts into the wardrobe because they are ripping the paper off! They are obviously having a mad hour and i can't wait for them to settle down. I've shut them out of the living room because it gets impossible to type. Crazy cats!! They follow me around all day and are in everything. They are so cute though.

But the Boyf is taking a nap and we don't have any dinner materials in the flat. I think i'm gonna buy tortellini and a quality beef burger from Sainsbury's. *drools*
Some of you may recall that over the summer i was on a diet. That has totally gone out of the window since i started back at uni. Ho hum. To be fair i haven't gained any weight i've just got the ring of fat back round my stomach. Dammit. I'm not really bothered. Have decided it's back on the healthy eating plan when i finish in May so i can be fit for my Florida holiday in September. I'm crapping myself about wearing a bikini. I've not worn one in public since i was 18. Thats 7 years people. Holy shit.
Anyway, i'm going to wake up sleeping beauty now and drag him out to the shops. I need feeding and i need feeding NOW!!

x

Time is actually flying by for me at the moment. I'm just so busy all the time.
The party on Tuesday night was an amazing success. I guess about 50 people came which was cool. The vodka jelly I made disappeared in seconds and everyone enjoyed it. The sangria was really juicy and tasty. We got to meet one side of our neighbours. Had an interesting tour of their house. They pay £5 a week more than we do and i have to say there house is bloody awful. We have a kitchen and bathroom in our cellar, they have a derelict dungeon style space. *shudders* Their house was like a parallel spooky version of ours.
The party went on til about 3am, I crashed out just after 2.
Wednesday was pretty much a wasted day for me. I had a pretty bad hangover and the house was absolutely disgusting. The smell of beer still hasn't gone. We cleaned and cleaned but nothing can be done about our manky living room carpet. It took ages to dry out from all the spillages. Gross.
Yesterday was much more productive. I managed to get quite a bit of uni work done. There is still an absolute mountain to be done by January though. Trying not to stress about it because then my brain seizes up and i can't write anything.
Today I'm going home to The Boyf and our two kittens. We are going to put the xmas tree up tonight. I'm going to have to do a lot of work this weekend which i bet he won't be happy about but it can't be helped. Also i'm working tomorrow day in the pub because i'm so desperate for money. Busy busy!
Eek the wind outside is freaking me out. I'm kind of scared to go out in it! Better go shower now and pack ready to get the train at 2pm. Journey of doom here i come again. It's becoming a bit much all this travelling back and forwards. Will be glad when i live in one place not 3.
bye for now xx

It's all been very industrious in my uni house this evening. Not with uni work mind, with making mix CD's! We are having a house party tomorrow night in honour of my housemate's 21st birthday. We've been shopping and loaded a trolly with booze, mixers, fairy lights, paper cups, streamers, balloons etc. The last thing left to do was make some CD's. It was so much fun. I can't wait to dance around the living room to them. We've moved the furniture around, hoovered and strung up some fairy lights. The living room actually looks pretty cool. It all kicks off at 8pm where we'll be sat nervously waiting for our guests to arrive. We've not had a house party before. I had one in my first year which was shit. About a million people came and i knew about 5 of them. They messed up the house and ate all my food. Hopefully tomorrow won't be a repeat of this. No Skins party thank you! I'm making Vodka jelly which i'm excited for. Better go to bed now, got a meeting with my tutor at 11am so need sleep.
Goodnight and party on people. x

I mean that in a sarcastic way.
I have been asking my Dad if he can help me out with uni costs for the past month. Yesterday he texted me saying he will give me some money for christmas to which I replied "so that means i have to spend my xmas money on food and bills?". So he called me. Now before i go into this in more detail the major point here is that since my parents divorced when i was 8, my Dad has not contributed a bean to my upbringing. He's never paid child support and he's never helped my Mum out with uni costs. Actually i'm pretty sure i've blogged about this before!
Last night i actually told him that i feel like he doesn't support me and it's not the amount of money he could give me, it's the gesture that's important. He then proceeded to ramble on about how my mum earns more money, he hasn't got any money blah blah. This annoyed me. My dad does have a job and he earns a normal wage. My mum has worked so hard to get a good job and she has literally been threadbare when we were growing up so that we could go on school trips, have shoes etc. My dad pisses his money away in the pub and the bookies. Just last week he couldn't give my sister any birthday money because he had lost £200 betting!! The thing that has annoyed and upset me the most is that by the time the phone convo had ended, i felt guilty for making my dad feel bad! He was also drunk which pissed me off even more. After he spoke to me, he rang my younger sister and cried down the phone to her about what i'd said to him. Then he sent me messages saying "love you" and "more than you will ever know" when i didn't reply. Talk about emotional blackmail!! I rang my mum and she told me to switch my phone off and ignore him. Which i did. I cried a bit though.
This is the end for now. i can't be arsed with him. My mum said she is lucky because she could divorce him, unfortunately for us we are stuck with him.

The Boyf got out of bed and abandoned me at 9am this morning to go blast his truck with his new pressure washer. I'm now sat all alone about to start some uni work. On a saturday! That's dedication for you.
I also need to go christmas shopping today as this weekend is the last time i'll see my family until after christmas. They are all jetting off to St Lucia on holiday. I was invited but declined as my mum is instead going to give me my share of St Lucia money for my Florida holiday next autumn. I can't believe i'm not going with them. Therefore i have to get them gifts today. I don't really have any money. In fact i've just checked and i have £250 of my overdraft left to last me until Jan 8th. Impossible. Not sure what to do. I will have to budget myself to a tenner a gift. Rubbish. What a depressing thought. No money to go out partying. No money for christmas party outfits. I could work i guess but it's actually soul destroying at the pub at the minute so i really would rather be skint. It's not like i'm going to starve to death. I'm sure someone will step up and buy me a can of beans if it got that serious. Haha.
Well i'd better go wash the sleep out of my eyes and start an essay. *sigh*
xx

Thursday night my housemates and I were all tucked up in our beds sound asleep. I was woken up by the doorbell ringing. I rolled over and ignored it but then it rang some more. And some more, over and over and OVER! I looked at the clock - 4am!! Now I was angry, I had a lecture in the morning and wanted a good night's sleep. So I storm out of bed in my pants and vest and scream down to the front door - "WHO THE FUCK IS THAT!!!!!" to which i get the reply - "police". I am confused by this so go and put some pj bottoms on. At this point all of my housemates are awake and gathering on the landing looking sleepy, confused and annoyed. I tell them apparently it's the police and so we go to answer the door. Indeed it was the police (now i feel bad for swearing). They are looking for some guy that we've never heard of. "We're a student house and have lived here for two years, 5 girls" I manage to tell them. They show us a picture of some guy that's supposed to live here and none of us have ever seen him before. After about 5 minutes they leave telling us he's obviously given a false address and they'll make sure noone bothers us again.
I was awake for AGES after that. They must have been coming to arrest the guy. 4am!! Blimey. I can't believe i swore at the police. I thought it was drunk students ringing the bell for a joke. It's a good job i didnt throw water out of my window!